Carmen Harra, a clinical psychologist and her daughter Alexandra, a certified life coach, use an integrative merging of mind, body and spirit to help their clients. The authors of The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships talked to Life Reimagined about using karma to improve relationships with others and ourselves.
People think of karma as “what goes around comes around,” but it’s so much more than that, isn’t it?
Karma isn’t some cosmic force trying to punish you for your bad deeds. In fact, there is good karma and bad karma. In Sanskrit, the word means “action.” We’ve taken that definition a step further and explain that karma is the energy you share with others and yourself. Each person in your life plays a critical role: they are there to remind you of your karma. Your karma with your mother may be to learn to become more patient, and her karma with you may be to let you live by your own standards. Your partner may come into your life to teach you how to become financially independent, and they, in turn, may have to learn emotional dependency from you.
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Every relationship is different, and each carries a different karmic conflict that—if resolved—improves the quality of your life. Further, karma has the tendency to grow like weeds if left unattended. An unsettled karma will play out over and over again, forcing you to pay attention to its source sooner or later. Perhaps you only attract partners who cheat, or friends who take advantage of you, or bosses who treat you unfairly. You find yourself stuck in recurring cycles of the same kinds of karmic relationships and scenarios. That’s bad karma at work. It’s not necessarily that you did anything wrong, but somewhere along the way, a karmic imprint was created that will continue to impede your life until you take the right actions to wipe it away. You can make progress and reach true inner peace when your karma is wholly resolved.
Can you accumulate karma?
Karma is often long-standing. Accumulated karma is like invisible luggage you carry with you (only unlike luggage at the airport, it never gets lost). Dissolving accumulated karma frees your spirit to reach its highest potential.
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How can you tell if that’s keeping you from meeting your soul mate?
All relationships require work, and a soulmate bond is no exception. In fact, soulmate relationships may be even more intense than other types of romances. But a relationship that continuously plays on your weaknesses, or takes a particularly heavy toll on your emotions, is a relationship riddled with bad karma. If you cut that cord before addressing the karma, your next relationship is almost guaranteed to mirror your previous one. Settle the karma first to free up your energy to attract a person with whom you can create a truly soulful bond.
How can good karma raise your consciousness about being a better friend, family member, romantic partner and member of your community?
When you become aware of your bad negative karma, you begin to act differently toward others, shunning harmful actions and behaviors of the past. Your nature shifts from narrow-minded to aware, from negligent to compassionate. By resolving your karma, by bringing love and patience into all situations and acting from your highest, most evolved and spiritual self, you end the cycle of going from one similar relationship to another and repeating the old patterns that bring you and others pain. You open yourself up to attract new people into your life and develop meaningful, healthy human bonds.
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Can it ultimately strengthen your relationship with yourself?
If you harbor bad karma for yourself, you feel you don’t deserve your birthrights, such as unconditional love, good health and abundance. You subconsciously prevent them from manifesting. To improve your personal karma, you must be willing to forgive both others and yourself and detach from past experiences. Becoming a master over your karma involves some discomfort. You will have to look at your flaws with honesty, and address your behaviors and hidden thoughts that drive them. This means returning to old, sometimes painful memories and erasing the long-standing effects they’ve had on you. The payoff is that you will experience greater satisfaction and acceptance with yourself and in your karmic relationships.
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